After feeding person normally washes his plate so that he is ready for the next meal. There are times when this does not happen because one is tired or busy with something else. Then the leftovers of food can start to spoil or catch a crust. Such a dish is harder to wash and no one would put food in it. Because he knows that no matter how tasty the new food is put in a dirty dish, it will lose its quality.
With dishes it is clear. And how about intimate relationships? … In theory, it’s the same, but in practice, the opposite is almost always the case.
How many times does a person start a new relationship clean? Is he doing anything to clean the old one or does he need something like that? Is it true that once people have separated, then the relationship is over and things are clean? It’s like saying that once the dish is moved to the sink, it’s already clean.
For some relationships or aspects of them it is easy to check that they are completed. For others, it may be more difficult or need help from outside. Here are some clear indicators that a relationship is incomplete:
- I’m walking down the street and suddenly I see a person in the back who has the same color of clothing as my ex-partner. I can feel the current passing through me or slowing down the pace and wondering how to get around without meeting each other;
- I don’t want to see his / her photos;
- I can’t start a new relationship for more than a few months;
- I still carry his family name, even though we are divorced;
- with my new partner is like with my old one – All men are the same !;
- I have to call the former to clarify household matters, but in every way I postpone or call common friends, relatives, avoiding direct contact;
- we have a common business, a car, things, real estate;
- I continue to pay my ex bills’, just the phone;
- I keep his clothes at home, only one shirt;
- when I smell his perfume, I shudder;
- I avoid places where we used to go together or common friends;
- we are suing, and the cases are going on for years;
- children are a wonderful indicator – when something is wrong with their parents, they do weird things – they become very aggressive or emotional or naughty or too loveable or overweighted or turn to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, extreme sports …
The consequences of an unfinished relationship can be divided into two groups. One is that the new connections are “flavoured” by the unfinished ones, just as if one put a meal in a dirty dish, it would taste like the old one. And in more severe cases, it is corrupt, disgusting. The second group is that any unfinished connection reduces the capacity for new ones because the plate is not empty. When there are accumulated leftovers in it for years, free space for something fresh, new, nutritious diminishes or even runs out. This applies both to individual relationships and to the development of a relationship. It also applies to relationships between friends, colleagues, teachers, supervisors, bosses… and even relationships with objects, clothes, property – my wardrobe overflows with clothes that I do not wear but cannot throw away. Intimate relationships are characterized by greater depth and, from there, provide the opportunity for more pain.
This practical workshop is on the first place an opportunity for a person to check how complete his relationships are. As well as to look in depth at what specifically left unfinished. Which wounds left open. Gaining this clarity is often not an easy task. Once reached, one can use it as a basis for healing process to begin. One needs to first see what is in the sink in order to select and obtain the appropriate means to wash the dishes. With relationships, this can be a long process that might not complete during seminar and might need additional work.
Former partners do not need to participate physically in the seminar. Each participant will be free to look at their old relationships and pay more attention to the chosen ones. There will be sharing, meditations, movement /dancing/, exercises that will support the process.
For whom it is suitable:
For anyone with the courage and strength to look at their old relationships. To admit that there may be something unfinished in them and be willing to try to check what the situation is. For anyone who wants to be in a relationship. For anyone wanting to give their partner space to be themselves. For everyone looking for the fresh, the new, the pure, the adventure. For anyone listed above which relationship is unfinished.
For whom it is not suitable:
For people expecting ready-made universal recipes or theoretical models, lectures. For people who are unwilling to realize what is happening. For people who are happy with their lives and do not want to change it.